Best Band - Words

Broken Coast

I’m the ghost with the toast and mostest, I coast afloat a broken boat

I was the man, was the man who could can-can like nobody could

I was a bad-arse with a pen in my hand, I scribbled the whole holy bible

Now I'm the ghost with the toast and mostest, I float along the broken coast

I don't get up, nothing to see

Except for a small compartment containing a flea

A circus, a circus, let me show you what I mean

And why I believe the things I believe

I’m the ghost with the toast and mostest, I coast afloat a broken boat

I was the man, was the man who could can-can like nobody could

I was a bad-arse with a pen in my hand, I scribbled the whole holy bible

Now I'm the ghost with the toast and mostest, I float along the broken coast

Fire in the hole, we don't need no flea

I believe whatever I want to believe

Invite hedgehog please, invite hedgehog please

Oh, and notify the people's cub

Girl With The Invisible Brow

oh girl, oh girl with the invisible brow

I hope that you've not got a brute around

your mum'll be a hard tough woman

I'll chat to her on the phone

lame lame lame lame lame lame lame

I hope you've got a buff slick father at home

but it's OK if he's estranged - shall I try to explain?

staring just above your lip,

thinking you'll laugh and smile, you won't but that's just a blip

lame lame lame lame lame lame lame

I lost you but humiliated I was found

you touched my belly-button hole with your hand

you touched my little heart and you soothed my pain

and I'm really proud that I remembered your name

lame lame lame lame lame lame lame

Bog House

bowl down to the bog house

for a bogus boogie

roll out your new clout

it's time to get groovy

buy me a drink

the drinkers offer

clap hands to the new beat

slap hands for the best groove/crew

get out of the way

see the neighbours play

what's that, a back room?

you can hear drums boom

now we're getting a snack

what's that, a broom?

is that a crack?

kaboom kaboom

it's time for the action

gonna get a reaction

some satisfaction

maybe just a fraction

some friction or abstraction

picture of the laws of attraction

turn your mind to goo

this is all for you

bowl down to the bog house

World Of Smut

I knew Hitty Smittledon

she always wore flares

we all knew little Miss Smittledon

her father was a smelter

he released gases into the air

some would call him Smitty

he would come home quite sooty

I knew the real Hitty Smittledon

she was actually quite small

nobody else really knew Mrs Smittledon

she looked like scrumpled up paper

not much like a girl at all

my friend Hitty

introduced me to a world of smut

Another Decayed

world not work the way you want?

dip your head into the font

can't recall the way it was

you've forgotten it because

now you've finally lost the plot

counting all the things you've got

know the things you think are not

sign it with a little dot

another decade

I love her more than he

I said it won't be

a distant memory

a ghost

I wandered more than most

until I was so lost

I walked right into a post

inside an impossible dream

things are just what they seem

feeling like a wellington

in a drawer, a baby skeleton

a mother decayed

could you say that slower please?

can't go slow enough for me

if I'm aiming to keep up

then you can't go slow enough

dropped my penny down the well

left my hand a coiny smell

frayed the yarn that marks our way

through the forest dead and grey

Lycradium

Raking the ice

Wanting to be followed

And lead by life

The high brings sorrow

Guilted and armour plated

For the syringe of rhythm tay

Beat out, bleed out and mark a ray

Sweet out, feed now

And fizz it all away

We’re vultures

We don’t choose

To live life or let loose

Let’s get on with everything

Get on with everything

Beat out, bleed out and mark a ray

Sweet out, feed now

And fizz it all away

Let’s get kicked about

And thrown around

To the sound of sweet persual

Let’s all get our sticks together

And fight a mighty mule

Well throw away our demons

We’re crying for some atrophy

Something to make us warm

I don’t know what supper’s for

We’ll eat lycradium

Giblets

Keep your own name out your mouth

Rip your giblets out

Aww, you're all boxed in

The People’s Cub

Who’s opening the new village pub?

Erm, it’s gonna be the people’s cub

He’ll be standing on a tub

Cutting the ribbon of your cultural hub

With his clawy, furry stub

Roll up, roll up

for some wonderful grub

First plate goes to the people’s cub

Polish the floors, clean and scrub

Make way, make way for the peoples cub

Don’t give his little belly a rub

Don’t ignore, he’s no one to snub

Any disrespect and your tummy he’ll drub

Who’s opening the new village pub?

Erm, it’s gonna be the people’s cub

He’ll be standing on a tub

Cutting the ribbon of your cultural hub

With his clawy, furry stub

Opposable Figurines

I have these silly dreams

what you used to mean

I have these memories

of drinking salad cream

playing with posable figurines

wearing a jacket to match my jeans

I eat this celery

scream a melody

I have these stupid dreams

of who I used to be

playing with posable figurines

wearing a jacket to match my jeans

I have bad memories

spite, dread and jealousy

I think you're heavenly

when you yell at me

playing with posable figurines

wearing a jacket to match my jeans

Head Full Of Juice

something's missing from your sphere

just a thought, a word, an idea

maybe a piece could be found

a notion, dream or screaming sound

one component absent

over lifetimes of long naps spent

promise with a serpent's hiss

and all that she'll whisper is this

head full of juice

fermented with mold

hell'll break loose

now you've been told

head full of juice

fermented with mold

hell'll break loose

now you've been told

now you've finally been told

you took my life now I'm all old

all those years I tiptoed around

all you needed was a single sound

cast me in the bin of sin

just you try, you just can't win

the truth is now that you're more than four

unholy games don't play no more

head full of juice

fermented with mold

hell'll break loose

now you've been told

head full of juice

fermented with mold

hell'll break loose

now you've been told

Miss Lead

doing things that I regret

blaming people that I met

saying things that I have read

do I follow? am I led?

I'm getting out of my head

maybe get back into bed

should I be medicated?

my eyeballs are turning red

Owls And Voles

I've got a power drill

kept on charge all the time

I built a table quick

'bout 35 minutes

I'll fix a crack or hole

on any day or night

I took the spice rack down

the cupboard door shuts now

I earned a back pat now

I'm patting myself down

to search for all the stuff

I said I'm giving up

we're sending out the owls

but they just flail about

I look forward to see

my favourite nemesis

the villain of the week

is always hit or miss

I wish that they would keep

up continuity

a special occasion

when all the trains don't run

there is no bus today

'cause it's a holiday

the shops are all shut up

and there is no transport

we're sending out the owls

but they just flail about

we're sending out the owls

but they just flail about

I flew to heaven on a hoverboard

The future was there, it was here of course

Space unravelled as I time travelled

All I could whisper was wow

I looked down on kids at a gathering

A box’d been tossed in a hole

I looked up at the sky, all broken

Then I heard everyone cry

Voles tumbling out of holes

Voles tumbling out

I tried to go faster, much much faster

But something was holding me back

I blew the dust from my shoulder

And prayed that I would arrive

Voles tumbling out of holes

Voles tumbling out

I rose up high another few miles

And looking straight ahead

I held on tight and heard a snapping thread

Then all of these voles tumbled out

Voles tumbling out of holes

Voles tumbling out

Beasts Never Come Around

I will not be doing this stupid thing

No no no no no no no no no no

I will not be doing this stupid thing

Beasts never come around unfriendly people

Beef can be ground or corned and people eat it

Brisket exists I hear and also biscuits

I will rake the field and chop up the wood

Could you just pass me that stuff with my pipe

Beep your car horn or is that now illegal

Bumps in the road can make a bumpy journey

Road full of bumps can make your journey crumply

No no no no no no no no no no

I will not be doing this stupid thing

No no no no no no no no no no

Beasts never come around unfriendly people

Beef can be ground or corned and people eat it

Brisket exists I hear and also biscuits

I Tried Talking

I tried talking to you

I failed

I tried getting through to you

wasn't allowed

I tried buying you fudge and flowers

shop was closed

so I waited around for three hours

in nice clothes

took out the piece of paper that I wrote your address down on

nasty smudge

I went home, looked out the living room window

and regretted everything I've ever done

*that was our latest album's lyric sheet! Now go down further for a Potpourri of our other albumses lyrics!*

Steaks To Chew

Too cynical for love
Meaningless like a dove
He’s always cracking jokes

Does he wipe his smile away?
See him there so lonely
See him laying in the grass
He keeps a diary

He brings joy
That man, the old boy
He’s got more steaks to chew

Do you believe in love?
On the wings of a dove
At the bat of an eye
At the drop of a hat

Gelding's Plight

get in that box
let me nail these in your feet
you’re gonna be burned
won’t have to run no more
take this injection

I’ll climb on your back
and ride you around
I’ll breed you for police use
keep you tranquil
while I slowly change you

they tell me his name is Chadwick
that’s Chadwick, Mr - sorry, Dr. Chadwick

Guessing Wrong

you are all still guessing wrong
I'm not the one to be chumping on
I don't like figs, I don't like fun
I don't want no one, not anyone

exploded exposed
I didn't eschew
ice lollies, sheisse lollies
not so nice lollies - chew

exploded exposed
I didn't eschew
nice lollies, sheisse lollies
I've had a few

you are all still guessing wrong
I'm not the one to be chumping on
I don't like figs, I don't like fun
I don't want no one, not anyone

a growth, a groan
a grunt, gross
pusses on buses
in the armpits of coats

a growth, a groan
a grunt, gross
pusses in cahoots
wearing fur of stoats

you are all still guessing wrong
I'm not the one to be chumping on
I don't like figs, I don't like fun
I don't want no one, not anyone

toot a tootle oo

Boofed In

boofed in on the floor
fierce badgers on the frontlines
body language was positive
it was clear to me upon entering your lordship’s house

we can't take democracy for granted
all mixed in a great melange
I coughed up me lunch
out in a dream
lost boy lived my life
but it doesn’t seem
laying perfectly still
my head pumps, I wanna kill
I wanna kill, wanna kill
wanna kill

hugging onto a pillow
that isn’t you
I gotta get up early to meet a bloke
called Ian
I await transportation
to somewhere imagined
I am trying to listen
blowing past shit, blowing past shit
blowing past shit, blowing past shit, blowing past shit
blowing past shit, blowing past shit
blowing past shit, blowing past shit
blowing past shit
blowing past shit, blowing past shit
blowing past shit, I’m blowing past shit
blowing past shit, I’m blowing past shit
blowing past shit, I’m blowing past shit

Cracks In My Soul

I know a sky dweller, a friend of a friend
their aeroplane home is always on the wing

they use catapults and parachutes
and grapple hooks and flexible tubes

how many times can I mend the cracks in my soul
before I question the point of it all?
how many times can I mend the cracks in my soul
before I question the point of it all?

they live on a plane that never touches down
spare parts for repairs are flown up from the ground
gives birth to little airplanes high in the sky
and for a while together they all fly

how many times can I mend the cracks in my soul
before I question the point of it all?
how many times can I mend the cracks in my soul
before I question the point of it all?
how many times can I mend the cracks in my soul
before I question the point of it all?

Curl Up And Be

before I
curl up and be
there's a bee in the web
a blumin' bee

l helped a ladybird
set it free
not like the dead bee
I unpeeled the web

before I
curl up and be
there's a bee in the web
a blumin' bee

i told that little fly
what he could be
when he was a maggot
he couldn't see

before I
curl up and be
there's a bee in the web
a blumin' bee

Eunuch Horn

write your name in the
font you invented
I've only got one life
on close inspection
new imperfections
in my own sweet time

sneeze out the car tyres,
free me from this quagmire
passing the meanest times
too vast to weed by hand
this land is witch land
having dreams of horse rides

some of the usual
for my perusal
real or otherwise
of course, that's the source
of the horsey's proboscis
warning from behind

sneeze out the car tyres,
free me from this quagmire
passing the meanest times
too vast to weed by hand
this land is witch land
having dreams of horse rides

For A Fool's Reward

finding the right kind of pie
and the right kind of time for the crime
quack kind of guy, quack kind of life
snapping all the time
pattering and battering, emitting a tiny breeze
smattering, chattering beaks
doing that kind of life for a fool's reward
hope they can glue you together

brain attack brain attack brain attack brain attack

Half A Toad

an old mog hobbled across the road
with half a toad
a half toad quivered upon the mat
so thank you, cat
for all that you’ve done to cull the ‘phibs
their springy ribs
are braced across your intestine walls
and nature calls

wishing harm upon the handyman
incompetent
but tall and tan, he’s the apple of
the landlord's eye
wielding a chainsaw for the first time
that flowering shrub
did nothing wrong, it’s just busy work
I don't know

Hard Thinking

so close to the bone
life on a razor's edge
jumping off the cliff
ice-skating with sharks

free as birds
going in libraries, yeah
rocking all night long
hard thinking, hard drinking

in and out of cars
hopping all the bars
three cool cats on the scene
rock'n'roll ain't dead

we'll vibe you out
feel our radical vibration
three of us wear jeans
we wear them then play rock

I Go In Rooms

I go in rooms and be there
It isn't not nasty nor not not nice
I go in rooms and be there
I eat my cabbage in the dark
I might not know that it's cabbage
I eat cabbage in the dark
I'll eat my cabbage in the light
I'll definitely know it's cabbage
I'll eat my cabbage in the light
I'll go in rooms with a new zeal now
I'll be there, munching
I'll go in rooms and be there

Professional Swatter

professional swatter lurks in the corner
waiting to pounce on flies
sometimes he'll use a little torture
the flies are petrified

professional swatters, his company's name
professional swatter enjoys it
swatting it is his company's game
destroying mites with poison

professional swatters lurk in the corner
or centre of a room
you find them in lofts or out on the lawn
or on a chair with a broom

professional swatters use electrics
to zap and fry little bugs
a lightning bolt shot through a tick
a wasp drowned in petrol glugs

Rememberer's Club

a long long time ago
dinosaurs were there
one day all the dinosaurs died
and god didn’t even care
when the dinosaurs were alive
they danced under neon lights
maybe they danced too long

I can always remember the fade of that day
we ran through the city along with the rain
we burst through the door and out off of the street
dodging the pavement which comes up to meet
took a taxi cab ride to take us around
we were dying to get the hell out of town
took a train to the river, a boat just in case
I can always remember the look on her face
I got me a ticket but don’t ask me how
there in my pocket I found it just now
I got me a ticket but how please don’t ask
I got me a bottle to hide in a bag
because of some bylaw I might have made up
I’ll drink to the daybreak if I can stay up
I’ll drink to the daybreak if I can stay up
I’ll drink to the daybreak if I can stay up

rememberer’s club, remembering stuff
rememberer’s club, remembering stuff
rememberer’s club, remembering stuff
rememberer’s club, remembering stuff
rememberer’s club, remembering stuff
rememberer’s club, remembering stuff
rememberer’s club, remembering stuff

Skeletons In The Mud

print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy
print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy
none left, just skeletons in the mud
print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy
none left, just skeletons in the mud
print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy

I was dragging a man on the floor by his nose
he was smiling at first then he started to groan
let go of my nose
I was dragging a man on the floor by his nose
he was smiling at first then he started to groan
let go of my nose
I was dragging a man on the floor by his nose
he was smiling at first then he started to groan
let go of my nose
he stamped on my hat, ripped up all of the slabs
ripped off all of my scabs, got a terrible thirst
he said, he said

all I see are splattered enemies
let go of my nose
none left, just skeletons in the mud
all I see are splattered enemies
let go of my nose
none left, just skeletons in the mud
all I see are splattered enemies
let go of my nose
none left, just skeletons in the mud
all I see are splattered enemies
let go of my nose
none left, just skeletons in the mud

print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy
none left, just skeletons in the mud
print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy
none left, just skeletons in the mud
print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy
none left, just skeletons in the mud
print my face on chocolate coins and hand them out like santy
none left, just skeletons in the mud

Life As A Baby

When you are born it is difficult
You better grow up or face life as a baby
When you go to school you make some friends
They like you, you like to share pencils
When severe pain worsens
It’s time to change but you can’t, it is difficult
When day turns to night
It might be your last so have fun, you’ll enjoy your time

When slime’s dark and your life is
Just hiccups and puke, it’s not a success
When you are born it is difficult
You better grow up or face life as a baby

When it’s the future you’re not there
Only alive people you don’t even know

Sedated Tiger

I glimpsed my reflection
In one of those shoe mirrors
She was buying a dress
Seventy-seven ninety-nine

I saw myself twice
I saw myself twice

I glimpsed my reflection
In one of those shoe mirrors
She was buying a dress
Seventy-seven ninety-nine
I glimpsed my reflection
In one of those shoe mirrors
She was buying a dress
Seventy-seven ninety-nine

I saw myself twice
I saw myself twice

I saw myself twice
I saved myself twice
Once as me
A dunce, that’s me
I saw myself twice
I saved myself twice
Once as me
A dunce, that’s me

I glimpsed my reflection
In one of those shoe mirrors
She was buying a dress
Seventy-seven ninety-nine

Sedated tiger
Sedated tiger
Sedated tiger
Sedated tiger

Hiker's Coat

Walking along in a hiker's coat
That's frayed around the sleeves and seams
In a hiker's coat! In a hiker's coat!
In a hiker's coat! In a hiker's coat!
Walking along in a hiker's coat
That's frayed around the sleeves and seams
Why I never got to know you
Why you never knew me
Waiting for a bus
Waiting for a bus
Waiting for a bus
It's a metaphor
Walking along in a hiker's coat
That's frayed around the sleeves and seams
Walking along
in a hiker's coat, In a hiker's coat!
It's been too long, you walked away
Intrigue turned to dismay
Waiting for eggs to boil
What could I have with them?
Lost my head, lost my head
Lost my head, lost my head
Lost my head, lost my head
Lost my head, lost my head

Walking along in a hiker's coat
That's frayed around the sleeves and seams

Their Stews

What’s it like over there?
People happy, making stews
How do I get over there?
You cannot, It’s too late
World’s gone mad, hasn’t it?
Not sure ‘bout that, not my prob
Going back wild again
They and you, they’re both the same

Am I cool? I’ve just lobbed a crow
Into outer space
Is that cool? Is that cool?
Is that cool? Is that cool?
Am I cool? I plant sand
I eat crayons, I shush babes
Is that cool? Is that cool?
Is that cool? Is that cool?

How much longer will this take?
Do I have to? Months? Years?
People pulling my sides
That’s not nice, George, am I Right?
How much longer will this take?
Do I have to? Months? years?
People pulling my sides
That’s not nice, George, am I Right?

Jammed Landing Gear

I suck my thumb
And dream a nightmare
Of jammed landing gear
Detuned radios blare
But there’s nothing out there
But there’s nothing out there

Blackness spins
Smash the chair
Straight through like
It’s not there
Drops of blood
Carpet care
Lampshade stained
Fuggy air
Blackness spins
Smash the chair
Straight through like
It’s not there
Drops of blood
Carpet care
Lampshade stained
Fuggy air

[Guitar solo]

I suck my thumb
And dream a nightmare
Of jammed landing gear
Detuned radios blare
But there’s nothing out there
But there’s nothing out there

Crumbly Raymond

Raymond Fragile
Bussed to the cinema
To snort through a reboot
Wednesday afternoon
When browsing the lists
I missed Raymond Fragile
He’s at the wrong address
No one close to ask
The phone has no bar
So he went the caff, so he went the caff
So he went to a caff, pour his coffee on his bread
Pour his coffee on his bread, pour his coffee on his bread

I Will Never Cry

I remember days of yore

I remember the days of yore, I will never cry
I remember the days of yore, I will never cry
I remember the days of yore, I will never cry
I remember the days of yore, I will never cry

I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry

And I will never bow to cuntsmounths
And I will never bow to cuntsmounths
And I will never cry, I will never cry, I'll never cry
I will never cry, I'll never cry, I'll never cry
And I will never bow to cuntsmounths!
And I will never bow to cuntsmounths!

I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, and I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, no, I will never cry
I will never cry, I will never cry, I will never cry
I will never cry, no, I will never cry, I will never cry

Gravel In Bits

Gravel in bits happens everyday
Bread’s going green and its just the way
Pot holes creating a vibrant spray
Super soaking at a special rate
Tumbling cheeses to clear a path
Give the paramedics a good laugh
Don’t risk a biscuit, you’ll choke to death
Crumbs coming out with your final breath
We fear the dreary and dread the dull
Darling tonight you look wonderful
Let’s light a candle and melt the goo
Starting a fire indoors, lulling you
Crispy triangles with crumbly sides
Harsh wheaty matrix that clogs the pipes
Frightening prices with sudden hikes
Brighter and spicier, now with spikes
I smoked a tab and powdered my hair,
living carefree with a sense of flair

Meeting Vivian

Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian

I was walking along
When Vivian came to me

I was walking along
When Vivian came to me
She said I was funny and that she liked my hair
She said I was funny and that she liked my hair

I was walking along
When Vivian came to me
She said I was funny and that she liked my hair
She asked my what my name was, I asked for hers

She asked my what my name was, I asked for hers
Then we shook each other’s hands and smiled

Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian
Greeting Vivian, greetings Vivian

I was walking along
When Vivian came to me
She said I was funny and that she liked my hair
She asked my what my name was, I asked for hers
Then we shook each other’s hands and smiled

Clinging To The Rail

Is there anyone out there?

I'm looking for the detached from reality, bald and brain

Knowing that the kitchen has cling film
And that the bathroom has a spider

Kick me down the basement stairs

Beat me, better me, arrange my piles
I'm begging for some order
Kick me down a flight of stairs
I'm clinging to the rail

Beakless Dumpling

My middle has come out
The pool is full of louts
A murmur of a cloud
Amorphing into clowns
Turn that smile upside down
My eyes are crosses now
The crows my bosses now
The raven craves my bones

I am but a beakless dumpling
Dropped into this nest as a joke

[Drum solo]

Dropped into.. this nest as a joke
Dropped into
Dropped into.. this nest as a joke
Dropped into.. this nest as a joke

Found a fudgy dough ball
Seeping syrup in the thatch
Reception very cool
A quiet comes crashing down

I am but a beakless dumpling
Dropped into this nest as a joke

Big Flock

big flock, big flock

You can't prove that animals can count
You can't prove that animals can count
You can't prove that animals can count

You can't prove the earth's not round
You can't prove the earth is round
You can't prove the earth is round

You can't prove that dogs can't count
You can't prove that dogs can count
You can't prove that dogs can't count

big flock, big flock

You can't prove that dogs can bark
You can't prove that dogs can't bark

You can't prove that it gets dark
You can't prove that it gets dark
You can't prove that it gets dark

You can't prove that dogs can bark

Countless Limbs All Hidden

Barter brings no gain
Kitten cuddles in tender play
Barter brings no gain
Kitten cuddles in tender play

A saint and followers strive to seal the gates of heaven
A chaste ceremony unfolds with modest gestures

Barter brings no gain
Kitten cuddles in tender play
Barter brings no gain
Kitten cuddles in tender play

Folks distance, spurning floral tokens
I discern countless limbs, all hidden

They retract from my reach, they retract, give up
They retract from my reach, they retract, give up
They retract from my reach, they retract, give up
They retract from my reach, they retract, give up

Oats

Bloats
Boats
Coats
Dotes
Floats
Gloats
Goats
Groats
Moats
Notes
Oats
Quotes
Stoats
Throats
Totes
Votes